For my Short Story I created this guy named Tom. Tom is a very handsome, attractive person who is also super smart. Nobody knows this but Tom plays 3 different sports, Football, Baseball, and he is also a boxer, and yet still manages to make straight A's. When Tom meet a kid named Brodie everything started to drop, and fail. Toms's grades started to fall, his sports started decreasing performance wise, and Tom got involved in drugs. THe moral of the story is Tom has to get his grades back up to straight A's before he can start playing anymore sports.
When Tom was falling asleep one day thoughts were racing in his mind from, "What are we having for dinner tomorrow", to "Man when is the next time Brodie and I can hook up". Tom's thoughts started to get worse and worse as the night went by. The next morning Tom woke up and was still wondering when he could get another dose of steroids.
Dear Bennett,
ReplyDeleteWell your story sounds very deep and dramatic, I can't wait to read it. I like how you gave us a set up of your character's dreams and then continued the dreams throughout the night and morning. Good job! A little suggestion, next time try and make the focus of the blog a little longer, so we know it's the focus.
Good Job,
Mary Beth
Dear Bennett,
ReplyDeleteI love your story. It is very interesting how you make the character perfect, then he runs into trouble. It makes the story exciting. I would love to read your story. I would try to focus on the thoughts before falling asleep, for assignment purposes. However I like how you introduced the character, it gives me knowledge about him. Overall, I really like your character and can't wait to read you story.
Happy Blogging,
Annie Kramer
Dear bennett,
ReplyDeleteYour story sounds interesting, but you may want to not list drugs as it isnt very 'school appropriate', just a heads up. I cant wait to hear the rest of the story! Good job so far!
Paul
Hey Bennett,
ReplyDeleteSounds lIke a really good start, and a story that I would really like to read.
Hey Bennett,
ReplyDeleteI could really feel it when i read this. Im really looking forward to the rest. Keep it up bro!!!
Nathan